The déjà vu is back again. Just like we say, history repeats itself..It haunts me, taunts me in a worse way than it did four years back. And m just being worse in facing it. They say fools repeat their mistakes and winners learn from it. But what about those who can’t figure it out?? Are they labeled categoryless? I hardly know.
2011..Aah!!How I wished…..!! Well, that’s all we can do. But half the probabilistic decision is out of our reach. Now 2011 has been a disaster. And God knows how much more is to come. But the worse thing is , as very unlike me, I have started running away, m hell scared now to face things. I am trying to find confined corners, m scared to help myself, trust myself and face myself. I duno but the first time, I am unable to motivate myself and to have patience. I haven’t been able to put up to even a single expectation of “the” most precious people in my life, but the worst thing is that, they have never blamed me, no matter, what I did, they have just been a source of encouragement and inspiration.
Right at the moment, I am really lost!! Every moment, I just expect the clock to tick away fast, but the obstinate thing does it the other way. I sleep half a day, too scared to wake up. Staying awake floods my mind with negativity. NO!!!I haven’t ever been so. I used to get disappointed before but I was a hardcore optimist. But I struggle to keep up my hopes now. I struggle to struggle. I just hope that this phase passes away soon. I want my real me back. This definitely ain’t me. The real me is playing hide and seek with me. A motivation is all that I desperately need now. Something good at least, which can strengthen up my lost self-conviction. Well that’s all, I can hope for. And now, don’t complain if u have come this far coz I warned you to skip this post.
Signing off
A.M.
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