The Missing Links

A new phase of life and suddenly it has created so many voids in my life. I find so many missing links in my life, its like everything seems to be open circuited, theres just a potential in it, that can be felt, measured but the flow of current never takes place, that measurable feeling just keeps me content, or rather I am bound to be. So this account is nothing but a manifestation and expatiation and realisations of things I miss.

I miss my home sweet home, I miss my darling maa and bapa, like hell, and I can’t really explain that feeling. I miss my hometown which again happens to my birthplace where I spent the last 8 years of my life till now, I miss my cousins, especially on the occasion of rakhi, when I didn’t have a single rakhi on my hand, a phenemenon that probably never happened, I miss my dear dear friends, I miss the exuberance they brought into my life, I miss dude and babe specially, I miss the wonderful days I spent with dude, the fun and frolic, the personal jokes, I miss his attention too, he seems to have become too busy nowadays. I miss being irritated by babe, I miss the way she used to chop my head and then fix it with her so very round kiddy sorry face.

I miss my not-so-hunky-but-all-so-stylish-all-powerful-red-black –Hero Honda-Passion Plus that took me places far and wide, I miss my scooty pep which marked the beginning of my driving career, I miss my PC which has been my prime platform for everything the world does using computers, I miss playing FIFA with S, I miss our LCD TV, I miss the reliance BIG TV connection, I miss my all so fast BSNL Broadband connection, I miss my all so dirty bed, I miss my messed up study table which never had the opportunity to have me to study on it, I miss my bathroom ( I hate shitty common bathrooms here), I miss the tom and jerry wall hanging in my room, it reminded me of someone and also happens to my fav cartoon.

I miss my scoldings of my maa, the fighting with bapa for selecting the TV channels, I miss being teased by my friends, I miss going places with them, I miss the get togethers, I miss the smile everytime I got when I entered the classroom in the morning, I miss playing cricket, I miss bunking classes, I miss having crushes (P.S.- I am still straight but I don’t get to see girls anymore), I miss rating babes and then fighting with friends on the ratings. I miss the lush green forests of CET, I miss dozing up during classes, I miss the gossips, I miss the meaningless babbles and rabbles, I miss the overcrowded bus journeys, I miss the MC (Maha *****) group .I miss someone who would probably never realise that I actually do, though I was never related, I do miss the “someone”’s presence. And yeah, I do miss the face which was a reason of every treat I gave in the final year, I wonder where she was, in the last two years :D.

Now if I continue , I might fill up pages mentioning what more I miss. Honestly speaking, I miss every moment of the last 4 years, I miss life now. The sudden transition has been really harsh on me and I am not sure, how long I can take the burden of this phase of my life. I believe very soon, there will be a much better phase, still devoid of some important components, but that will be a life worth living, the belief makes me strong. I am gonna bead my own life now and let nobody shape it, I am gonna find me out of me and discover the lost water from the sea without letting the bonds of complacency strangle me, I am gonna break the “bond” ASAP (if you can get what I mean).

Whoa!whoa!!chill dude..You are getting too serious, as serious as your asshole serious face..Damn!!I dunno why people find my countenance so very grave!!That is why I say, deviyon aur sajano, hume chehre se nai, parkho dil se, yeh patthar se nai, bani hai pankhon ke mehfil se..wah wah!!thank you..Enough crap for today..thanks for reading if at all anybody is..Mwaaahh!!!

Signing off
A.M.

The hilly Snout

A new day and lots more to say. Yeah, may be my life has become quite monotonous, but theres never an end to my thoughts. They keep on proliferating faster than even the world’s population does. Well, there is a particular “someone“ who has snarred my thoughts today, but lets not talk about it, its too personal ;). Let me update you about the latest happenings first.

So finally comes to an end, the 4 years long tormentation, agony and tyranny of our most reverred university, BPUT. And now you can very well call me Er A.M. Yup I am an engineer by certificate now, no matter, how much I know about what I am supposed to. And our results came at a time, when I had almost forgotten about it and had almost assumed or rather declared myself as a self-claimed Engineer, but dear, with BPUT, you never know, it has the potential to make your unimagined dreams come true. Oh C’mon!!you can take it in a positive sense too, BPUT can do anything, take my word. May BPUT rot in hell and may all passed out BPUTians rest in peace.

Now moving on to my work place. My senior has taken leave for 2 days. So I am in charge of my whole department. Now I can do anything to my department in these 2 days, I can get everything into place or I can even screw all the electrical connections up.No matter what happens and no matter whoever does it, I am the first person to be questioned. So its more like a pressure cooker situation, I just hope everything goes right. But to add to my woes, what the hell do I know with less than 1 month of experience!! With the electricians, technicians and contractors, all looking to me for instructions, I find myself trapped in a mire, with anything I say or do, is going to take me deeper into it. They ask me something and I give them a clueless face and all I do is to make some stupid statements and drive them away. But the good thing is I have the authority to sign the Electrical and Automation documents of my department, it gives a great feeling.

Too much updates, now let us move to the crux of the post. Today, I was standing in front of the mirror combing my hair, I suddenly had the same strange feeling again. Theres something odd about my face when you see it sideways. I have been having the same feeling since years, but today I finally figured out whats wrong. Guess what it might be????!!!

Damn!!!My nose is too big. That looks like a goddamn hilly projection on my face. I have heard people commenting on my nose earlier, there were a group of girls in school who had labelled me shark, coz of my nose ( something I got to know very recently), but today, I actually realised the real matter. It is so huge that I have a pimple on the tip of my nose, which actually comes into my line of view and often distracts me. I can very distinctly see my nose, can you? If you do, then you should empathise with me. And also its so big that, I can even touch the tip of my nose with the tip of my tongue, can tou? If you can, then again you must empathise with me. And you must have seen that in winters, mountains get covered with snow even if the bottom is clear, the same happens to me, the temperature of my nose is much lesser than the other regions of my face in winter. And the worse part, how the hell do I kiss? Remember Aamir Khan having a problem in 3 Idiots kissing, because the nose comes in between.Ah whatever!!I am not really concerned coz unlike other people, may be I am taking more oxygen, and so I am more healthy..well, Indeed, I am.

Well, actually the matter is, its 3.30 AM now and I just felt like writing anything. And I already have too much responsibilities, so I am hereby abdicated of all responsibility of any damage that could have occurred to your brain after reading this. Please folks, let me sleep, c ya..tata..wish me gudnight and sweet dreams, and miss “someone”, you still occupy my thoughts, I wish you a goodnight too.

Signing Off
A.M.

22

Flashback: 4th July 2011 12 Midnight
I kept on looking excitedly at the clock as it ticked about in its usual manner, the last few minutes felt like ages. I wondered that how the clock never feels bored, coz what it does is pretty much a boring and monotonous task, ticking its 3 hands 24/7/365. But actually a clock is an exemplar of patience and perseverance, something no matter how much I try, I fail miserably. Leave that for now.

So finally the second hand went past 12 and it was 4th July 2011.. And guess what the day was??? No, I am not talking about American Independence day :D. I am talking about something more significant than that, it was my birthday :D. The clock had done its duty, now the attention was off on to my cell.. I kept on staring at the Katrina kaif wallpaper in my cell, admiring her beautiful curves ;P, desperately waiting for the cell screen to light up and the harry potter theme to start beeping. In short, I was waiting for my friends to call.

The sad thing was I was in a new place and no one knew about my birthday expect one friend in my hostel, whom I just felt like telling. As he was too sleepy, he came around 11.30 PM and went to sleep. And I was left waiting again for a call. I waited and waited but not a single call or message came. I was already very disappointed. Felt like all my friends forgot me. And indeed they had. I switched off the lights and slammed my phone on the table and suddenly it started ringing. And the name brought a big bright smile on to my face, it was my best friend “dude”. I talked to him about 10 mins and then went off to sleep. I was kind of happy at least he didn’t forget.

The next day, a few calls and messages did come, but believe me, the excitement was all over, I was already on to work. Nothing mattered now that life has already changed, I realized that the same is true for my friends. They forget my birthday the same way I started feeling so very trite about the day. Just like “dude” hardly gets time to call me nowadays. Ya, “she” did text me contrary to my expectations, that was the only good part about it. And the highlight of the day was the attempt of my friends there to offer me a GPL. I hope you people know about GPL and for those geeks who don’t know , it is “**** pe laat”. As my birthday always used to come during the summer vacations, so I hadn’t yet become a victim to that concept. Believe me it hurts, and the pain stayed for a day, u realize the worst part of it when you go to toilet :P.

So finally , I was 22. Never realized when 22 years went past. And with every year, I feel I am getting more and more mature. Often I think of things that I did, may be a few years ago. May be then it seemed very plausible to me, but those very things make me feel embarrassed, I feel, had I then added the few missing years’ experience and maturity I have now, I wouldn’t have done it. But that’s the way life is supposed to be. And tell you something, might seem weird, but if someone asks me what I would like to do in the last few years of my life, I would like to watch a video tape of the significant moments of my life, both good and bad and according to me, you can’t expect a better movie than the flashbacks of your own life.

Anyway, its dinner time and I am at home. So I can’t tell you anything more coz I am starved as I hardly get good food in hostel and I want to gorge my mom made food as much as I can. So c ya all.. Have a good time :)

Signing off
A.M.