Coincidence

Yup, Coincidences do happen in life. And they are not just coincidences, they are just our beliefs, our thoughts. And recently one such coincidence, has strengthened my belief to believe, in everything. Call this one of the worst phases of my life, when things go exponentially wrong, not coz you called for it, but coz of the hostile elements surrounding you and you don’t have an option but to surrender yourself. And in all that jeopardy, if a coincidence which was ur belief, gives you a split second of a smile, then it would be worth it.

The protagonist of my coincidence has been the hidden lead character of my blog, a character that maintains its presence in every post but has been veiled away. How do you feel when you are fixed at a place, and among all doors that you have, the door of happiness comes and stops just in front of you? And you get in, oblivious of the fact, that good things await inside. And then a sudden jolt of the heart and bliss. That few minutes of bliss, happiness in a time of all pandemonium, seems the only right in the life. And no matter, whether it leads anywhere or not, that just makes you believe in the Law of attraction. What you think, you attract, what you believe you make it happen.

Yes, when your eyes keep searching all around for the same thing, your mind strongly expects the presence of a reality, you attract the Universe to work out just the way you want it to. This coincidence has done wonders and has persuaded me to believe, that good things do await. It might not always be the coach of a train or the blissful countenance, but it has to be the joy and confidence that it gives. Remember, believe and make believe, that’s the way to life.

The Newspaper Times

What probably evoked me to ruminate on this issue is when in the morning, I got a Sunday TOI. As ever, it carried that brisk iridiscence on its front page, good enough to enrapture the mind of the reade. Nah!!not content wise,but in reference to the perfect concoction of colours it manifests.It also sports, probably the best paper quality among all editions,that spawns from Bhubaneswar.When it comes to the content, it leaves a lot of doubt in the mind.

So that reminds me about when I started reading newspapers, it was when I was about 12 years old. I guess that was pretty late for a normal homo sapien to begin with,but call it an inception, Inception of a mature human brain nevertheless :D.Well not that I really cared to know about the news then,but a bit of sachin and a splash of cricketing adventures indeed managed to liven up my un-formed mind then. By and by, the topics ranged from not just sports, but entertainment,politics et al. And The Times Of India had always remained a attraction, lest you call it a distraction for me, till just a few months back I realised that it lacks in a lot many ways.

Honestly speaking,TOI belonged to the breed of one of the hottest newspaper ever. Hot enough to lead to a PIL relating to charge of obscenity in its contents as it is read by a wide range of age groups starting from kids, but the honorable SC quashed the PIL on the same arguement that it is made to cater to the requirements of all age groups. So still true,a bit of morning TOI can indeed warm up your mind for the whole day, I guess you get it :D.But again, thats not the issue I wanna delve upon. Too fickle I am, always deviate from the point!!!

I have been despising TOI since the last few months. Outcome: Changeover to Indian Express. Not that It is awesome or something, but definitely better than TOI.I am not sure whether I have become more enlightened or the editors have lost their competence :P. But thats the truth! A look into the newspaper gives me more refreshment than anything else after office, more than a cup of coffee.. So I earnestly yearn for a good newspaper. Among all the newspaper I have gone through, the reporting quality of The Hindu is indeed enviable, but alas!!we dont have an Odisha edition and the Vizag edition comes late and you get rotten news.I often remember finding "The Statesman" lying about, whenever I go to my Aja's place, but the lacklusture look of the paper would rather demotivate an individual. There has to be some marketing and sales efforts to ramp up its demand.

No matter what, A good newspaper is indeed a necessity.Or may be a good magazine. At the end of the day, when you actually want to read something, and something good, and ya, still gain something, a processed papyrus with unconventional expression and 3-dimensional thought process can be the best thing you can crave for.That seemed stupid,eh? Well it was, all i meant was a good writing :D. The day at times seems incomplete without fiddling through the pages. Wish I could have ramped up my writing abilities to make it good enough to suit the coloumns of a newspaper, that would probably be a dream come true for me. But as of now, every dream seems like a distant galaxy, a visualisation but not a realisation...........


Signing off
A.M.

A Story of The "He"

There was madness in the air, in the heart and in the mind. As the coterie shaked their bodies to the beats of some loud mind-refreshing music, dripped in booze and revelry, there was a lone mind, who was fighting within himself to finally let it out. Everything had turned into slow motion and the every split second, the image of the entity waltzed in his mind, literally isolating him from the ambient madness but puzzling his brains into an aura of discombobulated lunacy, the same feeling, that had made his nights terrible since quite long. It was the eve of the the festival of colours, but the restlessness had made the filmstrip black and white in his eyes. And finally he decided, he would do it, for once and for ever. With a hour left to reach midnight, he ran under the blue sky, the full moon lighting his way into the wilderness. With a deep breath, he tried to hold all his senses intact, nerves firm and mind clear. He was ready now to shell out every feeling, every small bit of intense emotions he had. The year before, started dancing in front of his eyes, every stupidity, silliness, madness, everything he had done, just to arouse that transcendental smile in the lips of the entity. The feeling was unique because it was the very first time he had felt that way, and for him, it was really special. So finally he slowly and steadily calmed himself up and reached for the device for everything he had to communicate that day, things he hadn’t said earlier ever, or rather the concoction of the magical words he never used. And then there was the ringing, the heart eagerly waited for the voice from the other end. One ring gave way to another, and then to another and finally the rings died into a beeping sound. Utterly disappointed, he lost his mind for a few moments. Yup, the indifference had been killing him, though he believed he never had created it for himself. He waited for in case there is any communication. Second after Second, Minute after minute, he seemed to lost all the patience he had. Finally he took the real big decision, one more attempt, and if left unanswered, he would take that in his stride and leave it behind him, FOREVER. Minutes to Midnight, he tried again, praying to the Lord of the rings, that the voice comes up, not the beepy music. But….

Things don’t really turn out the way you want them to be. No matter, how desperately you want something/someone in your life, life always tend to have its own way. May be that is why, there is something called a soulmate, and probably you never actually get to know who it is, till both the souls merge together. A lot of things and relationships at times, may turn up to be a deep illusion, sooner or later, we get to know it. Ya, but to let go off it, is the real tricky part, and once you succeed, you are in the way of succeeding again. Life just channelizes your path, when you are lost in the woods. Yeah its gonna be tough, it has been really tough indeed, but he couldn’t have done anything more, he has probably done his bit. He has to move on, no matter how intense or passionate or unique his feelings were, how genuine they were, how how much he liked the entity, and How much He Loved Her !!!!

Signing off
A.M.

The Questions!

Wonder whats going on. Things have changed a lot, so have I. And I am actually not sure where life’s headed into. Its kind of a situation which I would best describe as “Tujhse naraz nai zindagi hairan hun mein, tere masoom sawalon se pareshan hun mein”. Just listened to this song and I found it so meaningful from the point of view of my life that I actually quoted it. Enormous responsibility awaits me, things really challenging, but that scares me at times, makes me feel my real ambition is being set apart, just waiting for the right turn of events. Its time to find out answers, not just to the questions of life, but yeah, to the crooked examination papers too :D. Whatever, someday, it will be my day too. Lifes not as bad as it seems at times!! Its all about seizing the opportunity..

Signing Off
A.M.

Something,Something....

I don’t know what exactly I am gonna write, may be something, may be nothing which actually will be everything, but all I can say, this is not gonna be a frustu sort of melodramatic mawkish sentimental shit, whoa, I suck at that and I am fed of it too. I am just back after washing a bucketful of clothes, with my awesome sony walkman player creating hard and soft and sweet melody to my ears. Yup that 10k bucks was worth it. But yeah, washing clothes is indeed hard, especially when you struggle even to hold on to your soaked jeans, that’s freaky business, but kinda better when you can actually sing or rather shout at the top of ur voice in tune with the music. Couldn’t be a singer, but mind it, I am a professional bathroom singer!! :D

Sooooooooo!!Wellll, uhhhh!!lifes become a bit light. At least I get the hold of things now, managing the job seems kinda easier now. Have made a few real good friends here, theres quite a few parties, fun, masti, mischief, and so on, things which I probably I never did before. Gossips and chit chats till late at night, playing TT and a few other things actually break the monotony of life. Well the place hasn’t been as worse I expected it to be, actually it hasn’t been bad at all, its all with my mindset, something seems void all the time, however, I don’t want that feeling to leave me either, that would lead to complacency.

Lifes going on fine, not good, not bad either, nor do I wanna figure out the bad ones at the moment, lest they make things tougher for me. Now whatever it may be, I believe one day, I will make something out of myself, the day I will feel like a somebody, the day I will be happy about what I am, and I believe sooner or later, I will make it happen.

As for now, theres one thing I need to take care of. Its tough to run away from something/someone or rather from a feeling, the more you run away from it, the more it chases you, so better when you make yourself adapt to it, may be someday it leaves you. Between forget that, ever thought how walking out in the green corridors of your plant at half past two at night with a friend with a calm cool breeze slowly following and bringing to you the fragrance of the flowers, I bet it brings a dreamy feeling, anyway, I live in my dreams.

So yesterday was like “fast” and furious. My first fast on the occasion of shivratri without even a drop of water. Well I don’t know why exactly I planned to do it, but at the end of all, I dedicated it to my parents. And its not necessary to associate a reason with everything. There are some things that just happen or done, without a reason. Its nice to have someone in your life who can find out a reason for every unreasoned thing or be a reason for every no reason, who brings you a smile out of nowhere, who understand every unspoken thought, who listens to every beat of your heart, have one like that? I have my bloggie. Love my blog. Mwaah :D. Done with lot of somethings.. Bubye ;)

Signing Off
A.M.

I await!!

Yet another day went away
The heart it pounds the terrible way
The moonlit sky, the cheerful ray
I stare, to keep frustration at bay

The hundred hounds,they hound me round
To fetter to fate, that keeps me bound
The illusioned hopes that keep me sound
Makes things even more confound


The roads, they vanish in the horizon
Hide and seek, the game goes on
Patience is the name of all the run
After the dark night, always emerges the "sun"


The worlds around me,to have it set
To reach my dreams and win my mate
To beget the gait to open the gate
Help me thy majesty, your mercy,I await!!

The Eclipse

Life seemed just a little bit settled, free and light, recuperating hopes, smiling moments, the laughs had come back, suddenly it felt like the twilight will give to a new moon, or better, a shining sun, the friends were back, though new, they were just sweet enough to give life an animated touch, when it almost seemed “Yes, I can hope, I can do, I will overcome”, things suddenly stopped. The twilight turned into an eclipse, the darkness returned engulfing me deep into the black hole. Things suddenly became the worst that it could ever be, making my senses numb and oblivious of the world, coz my worlds are suddenly split, a fissure that can just be ignored, but can’t ever be rejuvenated.

Tears cease to exist, though they have formed icebergs in the heart, that would probably never melt. The past miseries that used to haunt me seem too insignificant now. Things have broken me enough to break anymore. I still smile, laugh, but just to make people around me, feel normal, there is hardly any emotions involved, even more scared, that my ability to display such fakely genuine emotions may not last too long, lest things become worse. I really wish that life had a skip button, I wouldn’t have never let the last 3 days to happen.

Its time just to sit and watch, coz I can’t do anymore than being a mere spectator. The games over and there’s nothing I can do about it. The worlds that constitute my life” are never gonna be heaven again, but how long it is gonna be hell is something I have to look on. I feel like shielding me off the world for some days, just let the solitude heal in itself, knowing that that would never do, coz the cure is an impossibility now. And it happened at a time when I had planned so many things for my worlds. I just hope myself to stay by my side, coz the day I don’t hold on to myself, I will be living dead.

I just want God to understand that mine is too small a world, which revolves around two more worlds, please let my solar system be fine, I won’t ask you for any damn thing in the world, I promise, nothing else.. That’s my only prayer to you.

Signing Off
A.M.

Meaningful Nonsense

Life can be a bit puzzling at times? Isn’t it? Yeah it is. But sometimes puzzles make the taste of life. Its all about finding out the key to solve it, and once the codes broken, then things get so very fine. And sometimes the code contains the key to the code which when missed out, leads to another puzzle.. Quite puzzling, ain’t it? And sometimes it is just meant to be so simple and clear but we miss out coz we ourselves complicate things and this is when, we give a totally different dimension to what the code is trying to convey. Often we delve so deep, that we miss out the real matter, even though we reach the ocean floor, which is nothing but a mere mirage. There are few things that cannot be conveyed as easily as a hi and bye, but when not conveyed, leaves a puzzling aroma, that feels good but still is like an closed outlet with a lost key. One like this:
“smile and Laugh for the world to see
under the quiescence, happiness wink at thee
may the beholder be the key to the key
amidst the silence, to unravel the mystery
notion lurks in blog two post twenty three”
Phew!! Now you can understand what 4 cups of coffee a day can do to a person who used to have 4 cups annually. But still I won’t deny the fact that whatever I wrote, does makes quite a bit of sense to me, even if it might sound too very clumsy to you. Honestly speaking, I may seem manipulative, diplomatic and puzzling in my words, thoughts and dealings, but just take a real peep into me, I am as clear a view your specs give you wear:D. Now sometimes when the reality is conveyed, all is done, and all is left on how the reality is received , solved and interpreted. Dunno if sometimes it even leads to the “the end”, but someday somewhere somehow, the notion is perceived, and then it is also perceived that that was all that it was meant to be. Sometimes even a single hour spent, seems like being in heaven, but heaven is not meant forever for everyone. That’s the puzzle called life!! Now please don’t say WT*!! :P
P.S.- My blog is censored, though I am not :P

Signing Off
A.M.

An Ode to the Ode Queen

Loads of thoughts and imaginations
No less than a conflagration
Hard to share and hard to part
Used to rip my mind apart

From sun to moon and moon to sun
My head just spins on and on
Around the world as fast it may
Theres always loads, I have me, to say

In words, I wanted them to paint
Alas!!I am so indolent
To block my thoughts, to get it shielded
The capricious psyche, it never yielded

And then it was one mundane day
Fortuity or fluke, whatever you say
“What I want….” I just passed by
Clutched my senses into a tie

Ire, mires, feelings and desires
Every trite thought, everything you aspire
Painted in such colorful hues
A lot of meaning, the thoughts suffused

The flow, the tone, the style, the tools
A wordful symphony, so delightful
Illuminated my fingers to dance at large
To the tunes, the heart wanted to purge

Spawned euphony of the fluttering heart
It smiled and laughed and cried apart
It churned out all the trash and dirt
Kept the person, sane and intact

Not that, still thoughts don’t come and go
You showed the door, but banged it close though
Now they sway in a sinusoidal way
But, you deserve a thanks anyway

Do bead your thoughts just as you smile
Just be happy, go a long mile
Forever, there will be the unseen one
Will wish for the best for all it can

Appreciated or not, whatever the outcome
But hope the point was well driven home
To thou, on your birthday, dedicate this poetry
As Gurudakshina, please accept it from me :D

Signing off
A.M.