Bad???Not I... ;)

Now this is a bit personal bit of soliloquy I wanna have with myself, so you are kindly not to stray into this area. Sooo!! I just wanted to say that often I feel I am quite a nice guy, the real good type one :P. Umm!! I am not surprised at the thought coz I am a die hard narcissist but yeah, dunno why, but I believe I am. Now this must sound crazy, but I am doing things that way nowadays. I do have my reasons to say that. 1st, I believe most of my friends do feel m gud (quite a few say it :D). Well, agree friends would always say that, but please, don’t spoil my fanciful imaginations. The very few not-good-wishers I have, don’t have too many good wishers either, so they are probably not good creatures :D. C’mon I am just being logical. 3rd may be I do stupid things, but it has never been intentionally to embarrass or cause hurt to anyone (well I agree no1 intentionally does, but please, I am in my own utopian world, please don’t disturb). 4th I feel I am pretty much polite to people, 5th I try hard to give those fake smiles that seem quite genuine, 6th I do make people believe that I do really care for them( which I must say, I actually do, till something goes very wrong). I don’t look but I believe I can be a really jolly person to be with, I can be a real friend you always look for, I can be the nicest person you can wish for (Now the level of self-appreciation has probably gone beyond limits, so lets stop here). But yes, I am not bad, if not too good, that what I believe :). However, something I am really bad at tolerating, ignorance of my being. Phew!! Somethings driving me real crazy. God save me!!May be it’s the BOSE speaker set I listened to or maybe…………….!!!Between my new year resolution- be happy, stay happy (no matter what) and most importantly make happy :).

Signing off
A.M.

Passion

First, let me talk about all those things this topic is not about. To start with, a message from one of my dearie “ Will give you a relationship tip. With your girl, show some jealousy and possessiveness. And talk to her when you are sleepy, it feels sexy like hell ;). And ya, decent nerds do score chicks”. Indeed somebody has become a real relationship adviser but let me advice her to keep off me with her advice, bahut bura parinaam hoga :D. 2nd, in the last three days, I have actually shouted at three individuals. I am actually shocked at what I have become, though I must say, it was necessary. 1st, on a manager, who no matter what, misbehaves with me, n whoa!!he has become polite to me since then, so probably that worked. 2nd my junior, who talks like he is my colleague. Well, I am to blame though, coz I have treated him in that manner, now its time for a changeover. 3rd, uhh, my friend, who actually left the lunch table before I finished my lunch, that was rude, but it was ok because both of us know, no one means anything wrong :). Between, tomorrow I am going to bbsr, meet my parents once again this week, I am happy. I have ordered two t-shirts from Ebay and a coffee maker too, suddenly my love for online shopping has shooted up, the only thing that stops me is the clerk who gives suspicious and strange glances when he hands me over the thing :D.

Now coming to the point. What exactly it is?? My mobile dictionary says “strong liking or fondness for something”. But is that all? It is something way beyond that. It is something that not just your heart, but your soul yearns for. It is beyond the boundaries of usual likeliness. The reason I say that coz I was actually confused about something. The fact is that I am the kind of person who is really fond of reading stuff, so much so, that I really enjoy the 30-40 mins I read the newspaper everyday. However, I impose some restrictions on my so called reading passion coz I believe on the age old school of thought “ pehle zindagi mein kuch ban jaoon, uske baad jitna man chahe padh lunga”, but theres something I don’t understand or rather don’t want to understand that when you procrastinate something, it gets procrastinated for ever. This happens to me, even though I know I am the kind of person whom you can leave in a bookstore and forever let me there if you ensure me a daily supply of food and water. Ya, a good book in good English, is kind of nectar for me, be it be anything, anything at all. But..I always keep a but in everything. That’s one of my weakness.

Life is all about passion. No matter whatever, you do you should be passionate about it. And no matter, whatever else you do, you shouldn’t let your passion go waste. Even if it is as silly a thing like liking a girl, you should be passionate about that too. Must have heard the dialogue “ Agar kisi cheez ko zindagi mein pure dil se chahte hoge, to puri kaynat use tum se jutane mein lag jati hai, aur agar wo tumhe na mili ho, to kahani abhi baki hai” ( Don’t remember the exact English wordings from Paulo Coelho’s composition). Now that is the real definition of what passion means. And I really want someone who can feed that into my brain.

Umm..probably the quality of my blog posts have shitted up quite a lot, but when I started writing, it was for people to read, but all I care now is for me to write, so doesn’t matter a lot. Don’t think theres anyone at all going through my blog nowadays. Gotta pack my bags now, leaving tomorrow morning at 6. Baby, it will be too cold, but homebound I am, or rather bbsr-bound after so many days, so nothing matters. And here I waste one more precious day of my life, someday I would kick me for that. God help me!!

Signing off
A.M.

Blender's Pride

Har mod pe nai suruat ho sakti hai, kabhi bhi kahin par baat ho sakti hai, mana ki bahut dur hai aapse, par ankhe band karo to mulakat bhi ho sakti hai..
Cool, aint it? phew!!Neh baby..I am dat same AM, haven’t at all mutated, nor m I trying to be a shayar. It is just a forwaded message from one of my friend which I popped out in a shayari session in my last corporate party (you can call it bachelor party too coz it was sharab minus the shabab plus the kabab :P) where the lousy amateur shayari group were wah-wahing at every stupid frustu shayari, so much so, that gave me a feeling as if shayaris are meant only for devdases whose paros have dumped them :P. Pretty yucky it was, but not really when you have a plateful of chicken pakodas to gorge on. Shayari as a matter of fact, has never turned my senses on, except when she has been a pretty babe :P. Well on a serious note, the so called sexy urdu vocabs which sound like hi-fi hindi never fascinate me. The only language that really fascinates me is English, though the pity is that I have never made an attempt to really exploit the language. But yeah one things true, anything said and written in good English actually pleases me, provided its not an engineering book!!!!

Yeah, I never should have been an engineer, the engineering jargons have never fascinated me, nor they ever will. All that I cherish was the life then, but the life now??? Phew, don’t wanna spoil my already spoiled mood now. Gonna wait for max 2 years more, else I am gonna risk my life on the path I really wanted to, may be bit too adventurous but dark ke age jeet hai :P. Its as tough as going to the tip of the mountain n getting the dew off, but nevertheless, I will definitely give it a try someday.

Now look, how fickle I am, I have totally forgotten the point for which I am writing the blog, probably the reason why mora patha satha houni. I was feeling too lazy to start writing this, but the burden of thoughts had accumulated so much, that I thought it is probably wise to shed a bit of them on my bloggie dear. More so, when it’s a Sunday when you have nothing to do but to stay locked in a room. Between my parents are coming to meet me today, a reason to be on a high!! ;)
Being high!!Dat reminds me again of the real agenda. So I did something, something I thought of doing once in my life, something that I know I am not supposed to do, but whatever I did it, and not just that, just for the sake of having a partner in crime, I forcibly made one of my all so bhadra friend do it too. I tasted whisky, whoa!! Blender’s Pride it is, but hardly a reason to be proud, I still feel guilty. 5 pegs, if actually you would call that peg but no matter what, with sprite and pepsi. It tasted nothing more than a homeopathic medicine and there was nothing I felt after trying it out, all the more reason, why I shouldn’t try it ever again. Just for the sole motto I have, “Everything should be experienced at least once in life, no matter how good or how bad-good it is”. Well not the bad things though ;).

And yeah I had a funnier experience than that. There was a Uncle…I mean a Sir ( M forgetting I am professional now :P) who started collecting my biodata, I realized what was wrong when he went to the extent of asking me my title and height. Politely I asked with the all so surprised expression “Sorry Sir,Height??”. And his reply “ I find your personality really wonderful and cute”. I couldn’t really interrelate the two terms but whatever he continued “I will find out a pretty girl for you, have you already fixed one for yourself”. And then I was so shocked, that I couldn’t do anything but let out a blurt of laughter. And then one of my colleagues shouted out “ Sir, don’t go by the innocent looks of the guy, he has already been roaming about with 3 girls in bbsr, the one you fix might be the 4th” . And everyone on the table (10 of them) burst out into laughter. I had no choice but to laugh at the assassination of my “personality”. Lol, but the party was good, good enough to give a faint relief from the monotony and solitude of life.

Well whatever, I would be much happier when I blend my pride in my own way, with my own efforts instead of the 5 pegs of blender’s pride, I will make sure the latter never makes me proud again.

Signing off
A.M.