Something,Something....

I don’t know what exactly I am gonna write, may be something, may be nothing which actually will be everything, but all I can say, this is not gonna be a frustu sort of melodramatic mawkish sentimental shit, whoa, I suck at that and I am fed of it too. I am just back after washing a bucketful of clothes, with my awesome sony walkman player creating hard and soft and sweet melody to my ears. Yup that 10k bucks was worth it. But yeah, washing clothes is indeed hard, especially when you struggle even to hold on to your soaked jeans, that’s freaky business, but kinda better when you can actually sing or rather shout at the top of ur voice in tune with the music. Couldn’t be a singer, but mind it, I am a professional bathroom singer!! :D

Sooooooooo!!Wellll, uhhhh!!lifes become a bit light. At least I get the hold of things now, managing the job seems kinda easier now. Have made a few real good friends here, theres quite a few parties, fun, masti, mischief, and so on, things which I probably I never did before. Gossips and chit chats till late at night, playing TT and a few other things actually break the monotony of life. Well the place hasn’t been as worse I expected it to be, actually it hasn’t been bad at all, its all with my mindset, something seems void all the time, however, I don’t want that feeling to leave me either, that would lead to complacency.

Lifes going on fine, not good, not bad either, nor do I wanna figure out the bad ones at the moment, lest they make things tougher for me. Now whatever it may be, I believe one day, I will make something out of myself, the day I will feel like a somebody, the day I will be happy about what I am, and I believe sooner or later, I will make it happen.

As for now, theres one thing I need to take care of. Its tough to run away from something/someone or rather from a feeling, the more you run away from it, the more it chases you, so better when you make yourself adapt to it, may be someday it leaves you. Between forget that, ever thought how walking out in the green corridors of your plant at half past two at night with a friend with a calm cool breeze slowly following and bringing to you the fragrance of the flowers, I bet it brings a dreamy feeling, anyway, I live in my dreams.

So yesterday was like “fast” and furious. My first fast on the occasion of shivratri without even a drop of water. Well I don’t know why exactly I planned to do it, but at the end of all, I dedicated it to my parents. And its not necessary to associate a reason with everything. There are some things that just happen or done, without a reason. Its nice to have someone in your life who can find out a reason for every unreasoned thing or be a reason for every no reason, who brings you a smile out of nowhere, who understand every unspoken thought, who listens to every beat of your heart, have one like that? I have my bloggie. Love my blog. Mwaah :D. Done with lot of somethings.. Bubye ;)

Signing Off
A.M.

I await!!

Yet another day went away
The heart it pounds the terrible way
The moonlit sky, the cheerful ray
I stare, to keep frustration at bay

The hundred hounds,they hound me round
To fetter to fate, that keeps me bound
The illusioned hopes that keep me sound
Makes things even more confound


The roads, they vanish in the horizon
Hide and seek, the game goes on
Patience is the name of all the run
After the dark night, always emerges the "sun"


The worlds around me,to have it set
To reach my dreams and win my mate
To beget the gait to open the gate
Help me thy majesty, your mercy,I await!!

The Eclipse

Life seemed just a little bit settled, free and light, recuperating hopes, smiling moments, the laughs had come back, suddenly it felt like the twilight will give to a new moon, or better, a shining sun, the friends were back, though new, they were just sweet enough to give life an animated touch, when it almost seemed “Yes, I can hope, I can do, I will overcome”, things suddenly stopped. The twilight turned into an eclipse, the darkness returned engulfing me deep into the black hole. Things suddenly became the worst that it could ever be, making my senses numb and oblivious of the world, coz my worlds are suddenly split, a fissure that can just be ignored, but can’t ever be rejuvenated.

Tears cease to exist, though they have formed icebergs in the heart, that would probably never melt. The past miseries that used to haunt me seem too insignificant now. Things have broken me enough to break anymore. I still smile, laugh, but just to make people around me, feel normal, there is hardly any emotions involved, even more scared, that my ability to display such fakely genuine emotions may not last too long, lest things become worse. I really wish that life had a skip button, I wouldn’t have never let the last 3 days to happen.

Its time just to sit and watch, coz I can’t do anymore than being a mere spectator. The games over and there’s nothing I can do about it. The worlds that constitute my life” are never gonna be heaven again, but how long it is gonna be hell is something I have to look on. I feel like shielding me off the world for some days, just let the solitude heal in itself, knowing that that would never do, coz the cure is an impossibility now. And it happened at a time when I had planned so many things for my worlds. I just hope myself to stay by my side, coz the day I don’t hold on to myself, I will be living dead.

I just want God to understand that mine is too small a world, which revolves around two more worlds, please let my solar system be fine, I won’t ask you for any damn thing in the world, I promise, nothing else.. That’s my only prayer to you.

Signing Off
A.M.