Sorry, Bloggie Darling!!

Hello bloggie darling, I am really sorry, I have been ignoring you since some days. But trust me, its not intentional, nor is it that I have lost my urge of updating you. U stay in my heart and mind all the time. In fact, every time something happens, no matter how minute and how insignificant the thing is, the first thing that comes to my mind is sharing it with you. But I am really sorry, those days have not been easy on my part. No!!not that, something’s gone wrong or wayward, things have already been too hard on me, so big debacles seem petty off-days to me, so that’s not at all an issue, I believe theres something good awaits.

But the problem is, my mind is in a state of delirium at the moment. I am not sure, how exactly to feel about the life that awaits me. I am not sure whether I am happy , excited, tensed, skeptical, sad , add to it a set more of contradicting emotions. Neither have I made any plans nor have I got any idea of how the life is going to turn out. Days are just going past now, with me having no slightest idea of "what now and what next!!".But one things for sure, its time life is going to expose me to the raging outer world moving at a very fast pace, if you don’t live up to the pace, you get trampled. Lifes is not gonna be fun and frolic as it was, till now.
I would here like to quote a few beautifully expressed lines from the blog of a friend, the reason being my feelings somehow resemble those thoughts and I must say, I really like those lines “I took a walk by the beachside… looked at the might of the waves…the vast area of strength, might and yet so beautiful…that brought smile to enormous lips…but the same sea engulfed even the sun when it felt like…The scorch of the almighty sun was all soaked in the valor of the marine giant…
Will I b able to stand upright as I did…??? Or will I resign to the same fate as the teeming millions do everyday???”

Now whatever it may be, I just hope things are gonna be better soon, they are going to fall into place, but I just dread one thing, I hope I just don’t get complacent, making myself adapt to the better-ness of things, but rather paint my own new definition for what degree of quantity and quality of being better, I can give to my life..N dear blog, I know I sound all so frustu n boring nowadays, but I promise I am gonna come out wid all so flavored kickass topics soon..Thanks for your patience, sweetheart..

Your Creator
A.M.

The Queasy Feelings

I am not really sure how to begin this post. The reason being, a hell lot of thoughts occupies my mind now, more than the capacity my head can accommodate. I hope my my head doesn’t burst away. I don’t really mean I am tensed or something, but I can’t really define what the feeling is. Its kind of being lost in the doldrums. A few days ago, in the long gaps btw our sems, I was watching the movie kung fu panda for the 2nd time, I must say I just luv dat movie n m sure u do too. I would like to quote a dialogue from out der “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, may be that is why it is called present”. I must say that those compact lines were very inspiring. But the problem is I often get lost thinking about the mystery than making proper utilization of the present.

So that’s the end of a 4 year long journey. I am not sure what useful I did in these 4 years, not sure how close I got in attaining my ambitions, not sure how much I did what I shouldn’t have done or how much I didn’t do what I should hav done, but yea, theres something that leaves me wondering. And what I wonder is, when last I wondered so much. Yea that’s true. Never before I had such a feeling. May be the attachment turned out too strong now. Ya, m talking about my college, my friends, the days spent, the memories blah blah. Well, I hate being sentimental, but the fact is I often do manifest what I hate, I always end up what I don’t want to be. I hate all those facebook status of my friends that reminds me of the fact that it’s over. Its time to go in all different directions. I hate the feeling of separation, something, I never felt before. Now forget that, as I said I don’t want to aggravate my emotions or else you will shed out some tears :D

Anyway, but there are things worse than that, and one among that is leaving home. Theres been just one occasion when I had been out of home for 2 months, but that was different, I was still a student. There were no tensions or at least less. But now its totally a different world of affairs. 1st thing, I will be missing my parents more than anything else.. 2nd I dunno how I am going to handle the new world, new friends, staying in hostel, going to work at 8 in the morning and may be come back at 7 or more at night. Everything about those things gives me such a weird feeling, I feel my existence like an alien to myself. And to more than that, I have to make even more efforts to make life a bit kind to me as it has turned out to be a bitch in the last few months..Aah!! I don’t wana remember that, yesterday is history indeed..Honestly, I wasn’t too intent to express those feelings in my blog but I feel good when I express..So, so be it, if not anyone else, y not tell my bloggie darling ;)

Signing Off
A.M.

The Hairy Woes

The Sem mania is effectively taking a toll on me, not that I mean to say I am studying day and night, but rather coz I have suddenly started finding it too difficult to concentrate even for a single night. After all, it’s the last sems. Earlier it used to give so big a feeling like “Whoa!!the sems,OMG” but now I just want it to be all over asap. Morever my net connection was down since the last few days which gave me another realization, I have become a net addict. I know how I tolerated those 5 days without a net connection, without gtalk, without fb and without more that sort of crap. Believe me its tough, but such a addiction is grossly undesirable, but I have kinda lost it, lost it in d sense, gone too far into the mess of being a netizen that I don’t think any deaddiction process is gonna help anymore. So all of you, please take note of that, make sure you don’t fall prey to netidiction, sorry for the neology.

Well, I thought that m not gonna update my blog till the end of the sems, but hell d sems, m hell frustrated, especially coz of the 4 credit subject electric drives we have. Its outrageously hopeless and I have seriously left hope. Lets c how it turns out. And we have a long gap now, courtesy bput, but that is hardly gonna help much. N about blogging, I believe I express my feelings best when I want to express, not exactly when I am supposed to update my blog. And m happy my blog does get a bit o attention, dunno who, but that number of profile views is kinda encouraging.

Anyways so lemme tell you what dis is all about. I had my shower now and combed my hair in front of the mirror. And suddenly I got a nice feeling, ask wat. “Wow!! I don’t look that bad, do I?In fact I luk pretty much handoo” :P. Umm!!too much of narcissism I agree :D, but yeah that feeling came from the core of my heart:D. Well , for a few moments I was lost in admiring myself :D. What if no1 does, I should na.. theres something called self-esteem and I guess you should always keep that up :P.

OK. Too much of rubbish. I must like to tell you that till 12th , I was indeed one of those geekish and boring guy (I was bored of maslf), maybe the reason was I aimed something high, oh whatever high, I ended up being really high in CET. Not that I regret that anymore, this place gave me a complete makeover, things I think I should have previously been. Forget that!! So I was talking of admiring myself when I was combing my hair, now the word hair reminds me of something more.

When in 1st year, I tried out a hair cream, parachute aftershower lotion, the one yuvi used to endorse. Now I must admit that was something sort of a stupid thing, call it my 1st attempt to look good. It kept my hair straight, perfectly combed, smart and gave out a nice fragrance. But it was a blunder, the lotion plundered my hair n scalp, I had a terrible dandruff which used to cause a dust storm on my head and hairfall like anything. I remember the night when I was studying for basic Electronix, we had our 1st sem exams the next day n the subject was too pathetic, I got so irritated that unknowingly I brushed my head with my hand and then was shocked with what happened. A tuft of hair fell down off my head. I was so taken aback, I counted the number of hair, n guess what, 28!!!!!OMG, 28 hair gone, at this rate by the end of 1st year itself, I am gonna show off a shaven off head, n believe me, I got so tensed that I closed the book and slept, I somehow managed to clear that paper with a B the next day.

Well, very unexpectedly, m pretty much happy that I still have enough hair on my head now, thanks to some oil and shampoo, but theres one thing I learnt. Its better to have some of that black silky disheveled curly bunch on the head, rather to have nothing for a few days of glory:(. And since then, I haven’t used any lotion, cream, powder and any sort of that bloody stuff on my hair, face or skin, except deos. A man is supposed to be a man no matter what, oops!!Please don’t laugh, too much of bakwas by now, but I feel so good now that I blurted out some of my thoughts, I feel lighter, but no, theres so hell more to say and I wish I can just keep writing. As for now, this is all, all I think is of the un-she and cut-me :P

Signing off
A.M.