Dekho...

Kabhi sunkar dekho, kabhi sunakar dekho
Bhawnao ke samandar ko bahakar dekho
Chup na raho, khamosiyon me gun gunake dekho
Dil ke goonjon ko batake to dekho

Kagaj ke panno me kho jake dekho
Khayalon ke sagar me lehrake dekho
Ankhon ke isharon ko churake dekho
Pyaar ki paribhasa suljhake dekho

Kabhi Suraj ki roshni me, kabhi chanda ki chandni me
Kabhi baarish ke boondon me, kabhi hawaon ki jhonko me
Kabhi phoolon ki khusbu me, kabhi titliyon ki aabru me
Kabhi dil ke justaju me, kabhi chahaton ki aarju me
Har un tarangon me hamari ehsas lake dekho
Har un duriyon me najdeek bulake dekho

Kabhi Sur se Sur milake dekho
Kabhi network lagake dekho
Yaadon me basake rakhna un har palon ko
Sapnon ki imarat pe takdeer ko milake dekho
Din me jagake dekho, raat ko sulake dekho
Kabhi in bahon me khud ko bhulake dekho

Dil ke lehron ki gehrai me samake dekho
Hamare junoon ko apna tarana banake dekho
Sikayaton ke kastiyon ko hatake dekho
Filhal dil ke taraju me naap ke dekho

Ikrar ki intezaar na karna
Fariyadon ki fuhar karke dekho
Dil ke sholon ko chingari na ban ne dena
Dil ki baton ko bayan kar dekho;
Hum tumhare hain aur tumhare rahenge
Thoda aetbaar aur intezaar karke dekho

Dekhna hi to zindagi hai
Kuch cheezon se itna undekha mat ho jao
Ki jab dekhna chaho bas dekhte hi reh jao


Signing off
A.M.

Once More..

Wonder the feeling that has crept in is a sense of complacency or disappointment, but whatever it is, the heart seems to have imbibed a sense of numbness. Bad things don’t feel bad anymore. May be as an outcome of how worse things have made me redefine badness. The flop show was expected, but what wasn’t, was a disaster. Doubts galore flooded the mind, self-belief was lurking down deep inside the abysses. Do I feel sad? Am I really worried? Am I still feeling shameful? Am I still concerned of the ignominy with which I have to unfold the disaster to people? Well I am none. And as of now, the mind is filled with nothingness.
Now the question arises. Why suddenly this change? Is it that I am so adapted to facing the same ignominy every year that it hardly matters to me now? Is it the complacency that has crept out of the dramatic turn of events? Or is it that I am desperately trying to be hopeful and see the brighter side of things? It seems like a natural disaster that tends to repeat annually. And I wonder, whether it is that the trying sap in me has dried up or that I am trying but it is just not happening.

And even if I had an answer to all the questions above, it hardly matters because the relevant question now is what next? And I seem to have all conflicting answers, which basically don’t lead towards any solid conclusion. So they leave me with two options. Leave the rope and let the quagmire engulf me or hold on to the rope and give a proper hard push out of it. Its all what I choose for myself.

Life goes on either way. It will just be a matter of time before the havoc created by the disaster gets buried and makes life normal again. But a normal life is one hell of a disaster. Later in the days to come, when you give a peep through the window, reminiscing what decision you took, if that can make you smile, then what you did will be worth it.

I have myself the liberty to interpret the channel of thoughts I have now as a self-display of courage, but whatever it is, If I could make my life worthwhile sooner or later, then very few things will matter. And as of now, life will move on. I just have to channelize the path where it takes me.

Welcome Back :P

Bloggie dear, hi back!! I am indeed so sorry that I ignored you for so long. I have probably got umpteen excuses but our relationship, I know transcends mere explanations. I am sure you must have missed me so very much. Lately though I have realized that you could be the sole answer to my solitary being. I apologize from the core of my heart for my apathetic demeanor, for having forgotten all those reveling moments I had, penning out the deep seated abysses of my heart with you.

Trust me, in the last one year, a lot of things have happened, a concoction of special and terrible moments, garnished and served in such a surreal manner that it never catered to the modalities of trite sense . However the complex series of events has led to one simple denouement- I have stopped classifying them as good or bad. They are just things from which I learn. People, situations and some mystifying elements have all been active participators to the dramatic turn of events.

But living in the past is not an option anymore. Its time to live in the present to mould a pleasant future. Its time to make amends, not whine over what was not done. Its time to create a new world and that starts with bringing about some new elements into the life on every new day. Its time to believe so that some fine day, a smile will sprout out reminiscing the fact that I believed. There are probably a dozen of things that have shook the foundation but the sap within, still revitalizes the soul to accommodate humunguous tremors. A perception is all that matters- you change the angle, the world changes. You think, you shape the universe around you.

Well bloggie darling, I probably had a seizure of my wits in the last 10 mins but you should understand, It has been a long hiatus and a re-discovery of the previous edition(of me) would just take a little while. But the new edition will come with some additions and subtractions, brought about through a lot of introspection, retrospection and self-restrictions, but all for the better. This time it will be about just you and me, no she/he. So lets break free and love the world, whatever it be….Welcome back!!

Signing off
A.M.

Coincidence

Yup, Coincidences do happen in life. And they are not just coincidences, they are just our beliefs, our thoughts. And recently one such coincidence, has strengthened my belief to believe, in everything. Call this one of the worst phases of my life, when things go exponentially wrong, not coz you called for it, but coz of the hostile elements surrounding you and you don’t have an option but to surrender yourself. And in all that jeopardy, if a coincidence which was ur belief, gives you a split second of a smile, then it would be worth it.

The protagonist of my coincidence has been the hidden lead character of my blog, a character that maintains its presence in every post but has been veiled away. How do you feel when you are fixed at a place, and among all doors that you have, the door of happiness comes and stops just in front of you? And you get in, oblivious of the fact, that good things await inside. And then a sudden jolt of the heart and bliss. That few minutes of bliss, happiness in a time of all pandemonium, seems the only right in the life. And no matter, whether it leads anywhere or not, that just makes you believe in the Law of attraction. What you think, you attract, what you believe you make it happen.

Yes, when your eyes keep searching all around for the same thing, your mind strongly expects the presence of a reality, you attract the Universe to work out just the way you want it to. This coincidence has done wonders and has persuaded me to believe, that good things do await. It might not always be the coach of a train or the blissful countenance, but it has to be the joy and confidence that it gives. Remember, believe and make believe, that’s the way to life.

The Newspaper Times

What probably evoked me to ruminate on this issue is when in the morning, I got a Sunday TOI. As ever, it carried that brisk iridiscence on its front page, good enough to enrapture the mind of the reade. Nah!!not content wise,but in reference to the perfect concoction of colours it manifests.It also sports, probably the best paper quality among all editions,that spawns from Bhubaneswar.When it comes to the content, it leaves a lot of doubt in the mind.

So that reminds me about when I started reading newspapers, it was when I was about 12 years old. I guess that was pretty late for a normal homo sapien to begin with,but call it an inception, Inception of a mature human brain nevertheless :D.Well not that I really cared to know about the news then,but a bit of sachin and a splash of cricketing adventures indeed managed to liven up my un-formed mind then. By and by, the topics ranged from not just sports, but entertainment,politics et al. And The Times Of India had always remained a attraction, lest you call it a distraction for me, till just a few months back I realised that it lacks in a lot many ways.

Honestly speaking,TOI belonged to the breed of one of the hottest newspaper ever. Hot enough to lead to a PIL relating to charge of obscenity in its contents as it is read by a wide range of age groups starting from kids, but the honorable SC quashed the PIL on the same arguement that it is made to cater to the requirements of all age groups. So still true,a bit of morning TOI can indeed warm up your mind for the whole day, I guess you get it :D.But again, thats not the issue I wanna delve upon. Too fickle I am, always deviate from the point!!!

I have been despising TOI since the last few months. Outcome: Changeover to Indian Express. Not that It is awesome or something, but definitely better than TOI.I am not sure whether I have become more enlightened or the editors have lost their competence :P. But thats the truth! A look into the newspaper gives me more refreshment than anything else after office, more than a cup of coffee.. So I earnestly yearn for a good newspaper. Among all the newspaper I have gone through, the reporting quality of The Hindu is indeed enviable, but alas!!we dont have an Odisha edition and the Vizag edition comes late and you get rotten news.I often remember finding "The Statesman" lying about, whenever I go to my Aja's place, but the lacklusture look of the paper would rather demotivate an individual. There has to be some marketing and sales efforts to ramp up its demand.

No matter what, A good newspaper is indeed a necessity.Or may be a good magazine. At the end of the day, when you actually want to read something, and something good, and ya, still gain something, a processed papyrus with unconventional expression and 3-dimensional thought process can be the best thing you can crave for.That seemed stupid,eh? Well it was, all i meant was a good writing :D. The day at times seems incomplete without fiddling through the pages. Wish I could have ramped up my writing abilities to make it good enough to suit the coloumns of a newspaper, that would probably be a dream come true for me. But as of now, every dream seems like a distant galaxy, a visualisation but not a realisation...........


Signing off
A.M.

A Story of The "He"

There was madness in the air, in the heart and in the mind. As the coterie shaked their bodies to the beats of some loud mind-refreshing music, dripped in booze and revelry, there was a lone mind, who was fighting within himself to finally let it out. Everything had turned into slow motion and the every split second, the image of the entity waltzed in his mind, literally isolating him from the ambient madness but puzzling his brains into an aura of discombobulated lunacy, the same feeling, that had made his nights terrible since quite long. It was the eve of the the festival of colours, but the restlessness had made the filmstrip black and white in his eyes. And finally he decided, he would do it, for once and for ever. With a hour left to reach midnight, he ran under the blue sky, the full moon lighting his way into the wilderness. With a deep breath, he tried to hold all his senses intact, nerves firm and mind clear. He was ready now to shell out every feeling, every small bit of intense emotions he had. The year before, started dancing in front of his eyes, every stupidity, silliness, madness, everything he had done, just to arouse that transcendental smile in the lips of the entity. The feeling was unique because it was the very first time he had felt that way, and for him, it was really special. So finally he slowly and steadily calmed himself up and reached for the device for everything he had to communicate that day, things he hadn’t said earlier ever, or rather the concoction of the magical words he never used. And then there was the ringing, the heart eagerly waited for the voice from the other end. One ring gave way to another, and then to another and finally the rings died into a beeping sound. Utterly disappointed, he lost his mind for a few moments. Yup, the indifference had been killing him, though he believed he never had created it for himself. He waited for in case there is any communication. Second after Second, Minute after minute, he seemed to lost all the patience he had. Finally he took the real big decision, one more attempt, and if left unanswered, he would take that in his stride and leave it behind him, FOREVER. Minutes to Midnight, he tried again, praying to the Lord of the rings, that the voice comes up, not the beepy music. But….

Things don’t really turn out the way you want them to be. No matter, how desperately you want something/someone in your life, life always tend to have its own way. May be that is why, there is something called a soulmate, and probably you never actually get to know who it is, till both the souls merge together. A lot of things and relationships at times, may turn up to be a deep illusion, sooner or later, we get to know it. Ya, but to let go off it, is the real tricky part, and once you succeed, you are in the way of succeeding again. Life just channelizes your path, when you are lost in the woods. Yeah its gonna be tough, it has been really tough indeed, but he couldn’t have done anything more, he has probably done his bit. He has to move on, no matter how intense or passionate or unique his feelings were, how genuine they were, how how much he liked the entity, and How much He Loved Her !!!!

Signing off
A.M.

The Questions!

Wonder whats going on. Things have changed a lot, so have I. And I am actually not sure where life’s headed into. Its kind of a situation which I would best describe as “Tujhse naraz nai zindagi hairan hun mein, tere masoom sawalon se pareshan hun mein”. Just listened to this song and I found it so meaningful from the point of view of my life that I actually quoted it. Enormous responsibility awaits me, things really challenging, but that scares me at times, makes me feel my real ambition is being set apart, just waiting for the right turn of events. Its time to find out answers, not just to the questions of life, but yeah, to the crooked examination papers too :D. Whatever, someday, it will be my day too. Lifes not as bad as it seems at times!! Its all about seizing the opportunity..

Signing Off
A.M.